Defying the laws of physics and the embarrassment of doing so…

You’d think being closer to the ground would reduce my chances of falling, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.  Being… fun sized should ideally mean that my centre of gravity is low– making me more resistant to stumbling, yet I’ve no balance what-so-ever.

I have defied the laws of physics! Take that, Archimedes!

Although, that’s just a part of how klutzy I am. My navigational skills are bit wonky to boot, cursing me with a tendency to bump into things. My thin frame should enable me with effortless maneuverability through the obstacle courses of my bedroom, the office or an empty arena for that matter. But I’m such a pro at being a klutz that I can actually trip over dust particles!

Now while I may crow about being an example of defiance and having put great physicists to shame, this does have it’s sour consequences… From tripping slightly, to an all out belly flop!

The worst I’ve experienced of the latter, was back in school. I was making my way to the corridor along which the bio, chem and phy labs are located, when a slight mental miscalculation resulted in the tip of my shoe meeting the end of the little step at the entrance. I belly flopped flat on the floor. This happened to be during the interval so the whole senior school was out and around to watch me tumble. Took me a good 5 seconds to recover from the initial shock, before literally springing to my feet and responding in general to all the gasps with… “er, I’m alright! I’m good! Carry on”.

I received a few bruises but surprisingly my ego was unscathed. The time my ego was wounded was yet another interval when I was climbing down a flight of stairs. Now, it may seem impossible ’cause when descending there aren’t any obstacles that your foot may trip up against, but I have proved Reebok right- impossible is nothing!

I never exactly figured out how… but I tripped, landed on my bum and bounced down the flight on stairs! My so called friends were doubled up in laughter long after I had ended up at the foot of the stairs with my bum and ego, terribly sore.

Friends’ weddings are the worst. It’s become expected of me to trip at these gala events. From almost dragging a group of my friends down with me in full view of ALL the guest while having our picture taken with the bride, to the most epic fall I’ve had to date! Mind you, that epic fall had nothing to do with me being a klutz…

Having reached our reserved table, I stood for a few minutes talking to a friend on the left of me. My bestie on my right, couldn’t get to her seat ’cause my seat was in the way, so she pulled my seat out. Ill-timed and typical of me, that was just when I decided to sit down.

It all happened in slow motion… The thoughts in my head rushed in nano seconds-

“Hmm… these seats are rather low. No… wait! This is way too low!”

I could hear the alarms go off in my head!

“There is no seat! Panic! Panic!”

My right hand shot for the table, landing on the little plate of dessert and a fork, tipping it forward and sending the pudding and fork flying over head! My bum met the floor with a thump, a little distance away I heard the splosh and clank of the wattalapam and fork (respectively) hitting the ground. All of which was promptly followed by a roar of laughter from my so called friends.

Strangely though, I wasn’t embarrassed by that. Probably ’cause besides my chums no one saw that epic fall occur. We all just goofed off and I pranked called another friend at the SAME table! Hehe… good times… Damn, I miss my friends!